I used to talk openly about God and my faith, all the time.
In a secular world, particularly in America, this is a big no. You quickly alienate people and receive judgement from others and become labeled as superstitious and ignorant. This is, of course, excluding others who believe as you do. Even then, if you're militant about it, the American pioneer mentality - pave your own way in life, and let others take care of their own - mostly rejects the open discussion of faith among others, including friends.
To me, God is love. This is the first and foremost aspect of Christianity that I follow. Some people take issue with that. Some people wonder how God could possibly be love in a world like this, and become angry or indignant. Some people want it to be true, but can't bring themselves to believe. Some people believe that love is the most important thing in the world, but refuse to give that label to God because of their views on organized religion. Some people can't bring themselves to believe in a higher power because of what we've learned as a society about the world and the way it works, and the laws that govern it. I am talking, of course, about science.
I realized that talking about God does not resonate with very many people, and in most cases, pushes them away. What I wanted to do was spread the "good word" - that love is the most important thing in life. To many, God is a label that is far from synonymous with love. It is a label that brings to mind crusades, corrupt church officials, bigotry, persecution, conflict, and, in the worst cases, death. Many people I know who once believed or wanted to believe in God have since married the word with negativity.
God has become a taboo word. Jesus Christ is a swear. Go ahead, say it in public - I dare you. "Jesus Christ!" *Gasp* "Watch your language!"
There's about two thousand years of history getting in the way and clouding the truth of one very basic thing: God and Love are one in the same.
So I decided to stop talking about God.
I decided to start talking about Love instead.
Love is such a universal concept that it's impossible not to revere it. It's all powerful, all consuming, brilliant, warm, inviting, and worth fighting and dying for. Anyone who has ever loved someone can attest to this. There are things in this world that take the concept of love from us. Anyone who has ever experienced suffering - persecution, loneliness, failure, death - knows how important the need for love to fill a person's life is. Without it, life ceases to be life. It becomes painful, empty, and meaningless. Even people who have never known what it is like to love someone else can most likely admit to the fact that they have wanted to - dearly and desperately. Love is what we are designed for, what we live for, what we constantly seek and desire to cultivate amongst ourselves and others.
Love is life. Life is love.
It's the only thing worth existing for.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Did He Really Just Say That
One of the most awkward feelings in the world is having a joke fall flat.
It's even worse if you think you're on a roll.
Joke #1: Laughter
Joke #2: More laughter
Joke #3:
Dave Chappelle optional.
When you use humor, you're really putting yourself out there. Some people get it, some people don't. Sometimes you're genuinely not funny at all. It happens. It's a lot like telling a personal story, or talking about your feelings, or even expressing your political or religious views in public. It really exposes your heart. It gets down to the core of who you are. And if that doesn't resonate with people, you know almost right away.
So, there's two options, knowing that you will inevitably fail:
Option #1: Clam up, don't speak unless you are in a comfortable environment.
Option #2: Put yourself out there anyway, despite your inevitable failure.
One of these options is for cowards. The other is harder to choose, but definitely the better of the two. If you hit the right note with someone, it's one of the best feelings in the world. Absolutely worth risking an awkward moment or two. Or six.
It's even worse if you think you're on a roll.
Joke #1: Laughter
Joke #2: More laughter
Joke #3:
Dave Chappelle optional.
When you use humor, you're really putting yourself out there. Some people get it, some people don't. Sometimes you're genuinely not funny at all. It happens. It's a lot like telling a personal story, or talking about your feelings, or even expressing your political or religious views in public. It really exposes your heart. It gets down to the core of who you are. And if that doesn't resonate with people, you know almost right away.
So, there's two options, knowing that you will inevitably fail:
Option #1: Clam up, don't speak unless you are in a comfortable environment.
Option #2: Put yourself out there anyway, despite your inevitable failure.
One of these options is for cowards. The other is harder to choose, but definitely the better of the two. If you hit the right note with someone, it's one of the best feelings in the world. Absolutely worth risking an awkward moment or two. Or six.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Shell and Soul
I've always found the difference in the way people treat you depending on your status and appearance to be one of the most jarring experiences life has to throw at you.
When you are a child, people treat you gently. People are willing to protect you. People will comfort you if you are sad, and many things that you do are considered cute or quirky. When you are a teenager, people expect you to have a certain level of autonomy, but overall, not much is expected of you. You're expected to screw up. You're expected to have fun. When you are a college student, people treat you very well. People tend to give college students a lot of leeway and freedom when it comes to how they act. I recall two instances - in college - where I screwed up big time and was instantly forgiven because of my status. I had just gotten my driver's license, and the GPS was acting up. It asked me to go left at the last second, almost right as I passed my exit, and I freaked out... and went left, crashing right into the side of another car. As the other driver got out of their car, they looked very angry. They saw me, and their anger subsided a bit. "I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed. They looked a bit confused. We talked about the crash for a bit. "So, where do you go to school?" She eventually asked me. The conversation ended on a good note and nobody had to pay for each other's damages.
Thanks for getting me out of that one, youth! That was totally avoidable and entirely my fault.
Second was when I was working at a gas station. This one was really weird. I was talking to my manager about my bad (read: lazy) performance. He was fuming. I told him I might have to quit soon anyway, to go back to school. Instantly, his face stopped contorting and he said, almost surprised, "oh, you go to school?" And he treated me nicely for the rest of the conversation.
I mean, I'll take it. But he had reason to be angry. I did not care at all about my job performance.
Later, I'd be at a doctor's appointment. I was still working a dead end job, but I was no longer in school. My knees were acting up - I guess I had to kneel a lot stocking shelves. He treated me like shit. He made snarky comments about how people in "my kind of occupation" frequently don't take care of their knees. He used a tone of voice that clearly indicated his judgement of my position in life. It was very unpleasant. Another less unpleasant but equally strange experience was when I went into a police station to file a report on stolen money (there's another story behind this). I was wearing my vest from work. Very first thing he asked me, "Are you here to represent *grocery store?*" What the heck? No. No, no I am not. Would he have asked that if I still looked like a teenager? Probably not!
When you're an adult, you become publicly tied to your occupation, whether you feel a connection to it or not. You're expected to be fully responsible. Things that are your fault are much less likely to be forgiven. Your grace period is over. If you show up late for work, you're going to hear about it. And let me tell you, transitioning from the golden throne of a student to the ordinary working adult is a rough transition. No more leeway. No more forgiveness. Of course, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being treated certain ways at certain times in your life helps you grow. Having more expected of you as you become older helps you hold yourself to a higher standard.
What's bizarre is that, internally, you feel the same, no matter what your age or occupation is. What other people see is very different from what you feel. Other people's perception of "you" depends largely on the shell presented to them, completely ignorant of the soul inside. And I'll be damned if being treated well doesn't feel right, and being treated with apprehension and expectation doesn't feel foreign.
It takes a lot to realize that your external appearance isn't "you." My very best friends have defective shells. One has cerebral palsy. The other is albino, and legally blind. Another is confined to a wheelchair. These people are always willing to look at the soul before the shell. People who have had an external appearance that has disagreed with them from the beginning are actually at a huge advantage. They realize very early on that the soul and the shell are two separate things, and which one is more important.
Just some food for thought.
When you are a child, people treat you gently. People are willing to protect you. People will comfort you if you are sad, and many things that you do are considered cute or quirky. When you are a teenager, people expect you to have a certain level of autonomy, but overall, not much is expected of you. You're expected to screw up. You're expected to have fun. When you are a college student, people treat you very well. People tend to give college students a lot of leeway and freedom when it comes to how they act. I recall two instances - in college - where I screwed up big time and was instantly forgiven because of my status. I had just gotten my driver's license, and the GPS was acting up. It asked me to go left at the last second, almost right as I passed my exit, and I freaked out... and went left, crashing right into the side of another car. As the other driver got out of their car, they looked very angry. They saw me, and their anger subsided a bit. "I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed. They looked a bit confused. We talked about the crash for a bit. "So, where do you go to school?" She eventually asked me. The conversation ended on a good note and nobody had to pay for each other's damages.
Thanks for getting me out of that one, youth! That was totally avoidable and entirely my fault.
Second was when I was working at a gas station. This one was really weird. I was talking to my manager about my bad (read: lazy) performance. He was fuming. I told him I might have to quit soon anyway, to go back to school. Instantly, his face stopped contorting and he said, almost surprised, "oh, you go to school?" And he treated me nicely for the rest of the conversation.
I mean, I'll take it. But he had reason to be angry. I did not care at all about my job performance.
Later, I'd be at a doctor's appointment. I was still working a dead end job, but I was no longer in school. My knees were acting up - I guess I had to kneel a lot stocking shelves. He treated me like shit. He made snarky comments about how people in "my kind of occupation" frequently don't take care of their knees. He used a tone of voice that clearly indicated his judgement of my position in life. It was very unpleasant. Another less unpleasant but equally strange experience was when I went into a police station to file a report on stolen money (there's another story behind this). I was wearing my vest from work. Very first thing he asked me, "Are you here to represent *grocery store?*" What the heck? No. No, no I am not. Would he have asked that if I still looked like a teenager? Probably not!
When you're an adult, you become publicly tied to your occupation, whether you feel a connection to it or not. You're expected to be fully responsible. Things that are your fault are much less likely to be forgiven. Your grace period is over. If you show up late for work, you're going to hear about it. And let me tell you, transitioning from the golden throne of a student to the ordinary working adult is a rough transition. No more leeway. No more forgiveness. Of course, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being treated certain ways at certain times in your life helps you grow. Having more expected of you as you become older helps you hold yourself to a higher standard.
What's bizarre is that, internally, you feel the same, no matter what your age or occupation is. What other people see is very different from what you feel. Other people's perception of "you" depends largely on the shell presented to them, completely ignorant of the soul inside. And I'll be damned if being treated well doesn't feel right, and being treated with apprehension and expectation doesn't feel foreign.
It takes a lot to realize that your external appearance isn't "you." My very best friends have defective shells. One has cerebral palsy. The other is albino, and legally blind. Another is confined to a wheelchair. These people are always willing to look at the soul before the shell. People who have had an external appearance that has disagreed with them from the beginning are actually at a huge advantage. They realize very early on that the soul and the shell are two separate things, and which one is more important.
Just some food for thought.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Heart of the Storm
There's something about the misconceived villain that's fascinating.
Moriya (Last Blade) is a samurai who trained with his best friend, Kaede. When his master is murdered, Kaede returns to find Moriya standing over his lifeless corpse. Realizing that he's been framed, Moriya leaves without a word, allowing his lifelong friend to think that he's a murderer. He dedicates the rest of his life to finding the real killer, and avoiding confrontation with Kaede. Rather than defend himself, he took the fall to avoid conflict, and was fully willing to let himself be seen as a monster.
Itachi (Naruto) is seen as a villain for most of the series. He killed his entire clan, and his brother, Sasuke - the sole survivor - has dedicated his life to taking revenge. There's a flashback sequence where it shows Itachi murdering his clan, and his family. He tells Sasuke to hate him before leaving. He then joins a criminal organization. It's hard to take it any other way. However, we find out later in the series that his father, the head of the clan, was planning a Coup D'etat, and it would have likely ended up in many casualties on both sides. Rather than risk an all out war, Itachi sided with his village rather his clan, and undertook a secret mission to wipe out the clan during the night, while they slept. He was unable to kill his brother, who he loved, so he asked him to hate him - partially because of guilt, and partially to help Sasuke deal with what he had done. The reason he joined the organization is to keep tabs on them. He never defends himself, and we discover that he went to extreme lengths to hide the truth from everyone. Most of the world sees him as a monster, and he is described by the author as living in "Hell."
Both characters eventually reconcile with their loved ones, but there's something about the way that they so willingly jump into darkness, without showing even a hint of a desire to defend themselves, that is much more noble than any story of heroism or valor. The truest hero doesn't do it for the reward, or for themselves, but to protect others or a higher cause. Being seen as a villain was a side effect of how these people chose to follow goodness. Even while in darkness, both characters upheld their virtue.
The Last Blade and Naruto are a video game and a comic book, respectively. Hardly high brow fiction. Yet, both of these characters represent something admirable that can be translated over into life. If you are going to do good things, do them in secret. Don't let the world or anyone else know. Let nobody praise you for your actions. Let people curse you instead. By doing this, you can bring yourself closer to truth. You can do good to do good, not only when it gives no reward, but punishes you for doing so.
The best way to reach the essence of goodness is to reject rewards for your actions. The best way to reach the essence of goodness is to use your free will to reject evil while in its own domain. The best way to reach the essence of goodness is to pursue goodness even as the world hates you for it.
Of course, you'd have to be insane to say that the only way to be good is to be hated by everyone, and the above paragraphs are clearly romanticized. Choosing goodness despite adversity is something that can be done in reality, however. And it's one of the things most worth doing.
Moriya (Last Blade) is a samurai who trained with his best friend, Kaede. When his master is murdered, Kaede returns to find Moriya standing over his lifeless corpse. Realizing that he's been framed, Moriya leaves without a word, allowing his lifelong friend to think that he's a murderer. He dedicates the rest of his life to finding the real killer, and avoiding confrontation with Kaede. Rather than defend himself, he took the fall to avoid conflict, and was fully willing to let himself be seen as a monster.
Itachi (Naruto) is seen as a villain for most of the series. He killed his entire clan, and his brother, Sasuke - the sole survivor - has dedicated his life to taking revenge. There's a flashback sequence where it shows Itachi murdering his clan, and his family. He tells Sasuke to hate him before leaving. He then joins a criminal organization. It's hard to take it any other way. However, we find out later in the series that his father, the head of the clan, was planning a Coup D'etat, and it would have likely ended up in many casualties on both sides. Rather than risk an all out war, Itachi sided with his village rather his clan, and undertook a secret mission to wipe out the clan during the night, while they slept. He was unable to kill his brother, who he loved, so he asked him to hate him - partially because of guilt, and partially to help Sasuke deal with what he had done. The reason he joined the organization is to keep tabs on them. He never defends himself, and we discover that he went to extreme lengths to hide the truth from everyone. Most of the world sees him as a monster, and he is described by the author as living in "Hell."
Both characters eventually reconcile with their loved ones, but there's something about the way that they so willingly jump into darkness, without showing even a hint of a desire to defend themselves, that is much more noble than any story of heroism or valor. The truest hero doesn't do it for the reward, or for themselves, but to protect others or a higher cause. Being seen as a villain was a side effect of how these people chose to follow goodness. Even while in darkness, both characters upheld their virtue.
The Last Blade and Naruto are a video game and a comic book, respectively. Hardly high brow fiction. Yet, both of these characters represent something admirable that can be translated over into life. If you are going to do good things, do them in secret. Don't let the world or anyone else know. Let nobody praise you for your actions. Let people curse you instead. By doing this, you can bring yourself closer to truth. You can do good to do good, not only when it gives no reward, but punishes you for doing so.
The best way to reach the essence of goodness is to reject rewards for your actions. The best way to reach the essence of goodness is to use your free will to reject evil while in its own domain. The best way to reach the essence of goodness is to pursue goodness even as the world hates you for it.
Of course, you'd have to be insane to say that the only way to be good is to be hated by everyone, and the above paragraphs are clearly romanticized. Choosing goodness despite adversity is something that can be done in reality, however. And it's one of the things most worth doing.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Well, that was odd
I had something to say about art and expression, but I had this very vivid dream, so I'll write about dreams instead. Dreams are kind of a return experience for me - I was on medication for a good portion of my life that prevented me from dreaming. Recently, they've been very vivid, and I remember them clearly long after I wake up. This one didn't feel "real" - it still felt very "dreamy" - but I remember it as clearly as I would a movie.
I was in school ("School", we were all mid 20's men) and I was in a computer lab. I goofed off for about ten minutes, and then I pulled up Youtube and started listening to techno. Some fat guy sat next to me, and I realized I might be bothering him, so I said "Is this bothering you? I'll turn it off if it is." He sounded apologetic and said "Yeah, I really hate techno. Sorry, I used to watch this show." This made total sense, I said ok, and turned it off. Next thing I know we're on a field trip. Everyone is taking snow mobiles down a snowy mountain to get to where we need to go. I see some tall African guy who I apparently knew in the dream - I even knew his name, which I don't remember now, but it was like, Aheswala or something similar - who I was cool with. We weren't friends, but we knew each other and were nice acquaintances. Instead of the snow mobiles, he was sitting on a ferry that was going down a tropical river instead. I thought he looked relaxed, and sat next to him. As the boat went down the stream, I fell asleep.
When we got to our destination, the snow mobiles were just arriving. The ferryman demanded I pay him $10 for the ride, exclaiming that the snow mobiles were free and people take the boat for the scenery (WHICH I WAS ASLEEP FOR). I got angry and looked at the tall guy, who just shrugged, like I should have known. I pulled out my wallet and I only had ones and a twenty. I asked if I could get change for a twenty, and the ferryman looked really annoyed and said, "No, just give me the twenty." I said no, and spent forever looking for a ten dollar bill. Dream flashes forward again, we're all in some Chinese town with a snowy mountain overlooking it. It's the end of the world. Literally - Armageddon is about to happen, and everyone knows it, but accepts it like something normal. The only other things I vaguely remember are walking on a path on the mountain, a ski lift, and a huge battle that none of us (students) were taking part in. We were all totally safe while other people fought it, and everything felt fine.
Really weird dream.
I was in school ("School", we were all mid 20's men) and I was in a computer lab. I goofed off for about ten minutes, and then I pulled up Youtube and started listening to techno. Some fat guy sat next to me, and I realized I might be bothering him, so I said "Is this bothering you? I'll turn it off if it is." He sounded apologetic and said "Yeah, I really hate techno. Sorry, I used to watch this show." This made total sense, I said ok, and turned it off. Next thing I know we're on a field trip. Everyone is taking snow mobiles down a snowy mountain to get to where we need to go. I see some tall African guy who I apparently knew in the dream - I even knew his name, which I don't remember now, but it was like, Aheswala or something similar - who I was cool with. We weren't friends, but we knew each other and were nice acquaintances. Instead of the snow mobiles, he was sitting on a ferry that was going down a tropical river instead. I thought he looked relaxed, and sat next to him. As the boat went down the stream, I fell asleep.
When we got to our destination, the snow mobiles were just arriving. The ferryman demanded I pay him $10 for the ride, exclaiming that the snow mobiles were free and people take the boat for the scenery (WHICH I WAS ASLEEP FOR). I got angry and looked at the tall guy, who just shrugged, like I should have known. I pulled out my wallet and I only had ones and a twenty. I asked if I could get change for a twenty, and the ferryman looked really annoyed and said, "No, just give me the twenty." I said no, and spent forever looking for a ten dollar bill. Dream flashes forward again, we're all in some Chinese town with a snowy mountain overlooking it. It's the end of the world. Literally - Armageddon is about to happen, and everyone knows it, but accepts it like something normal. The only other things I vaguely remember are walking on a path on the mountain, a ski lift, and a huge battle that none of us (students) were taking part in. We were all totally safe while other people fought it, and everything felt fine.
Really weird dream.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Productivity, a rare find
I started writing a novel.
It feels good to write creatively. It really does.
We'll see if it can withstand the relentless assault of job applications and other life responsibilities.
It feels good to write creatively. It really does.
We'll see if it can withstand the relentless assault of job applications and other life responsibilities.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
No Equal in Heaven; no Equal on Earth
I have always wanted to be the best at everything. I'm not really the best at anything. Quite a conundrum, no?
Well, perfectionism is inherently flawed.
It pains me to say it, because admitting as such is ugly in a spiritual and metaphysical sense, but I have always wanted to be the most talented, most attractive, most hilarious, most kind, most intelligent person in the room. Ironically, I also always wanted to be the most humble, solely because humility is an endearing trait. I am, 100% of the time, never any of those things. Sure, I can crack a joke now and then, but I'm no professional comedian. I run every day, but I'm no athlete. I'm decent with words, but I'm not exactly the valedictorian student of my graduating class. I'm not hideous, but I'm not exactly a model, either - and that certainly won't get any better as the years go on. I realized my perceived inadequacy at a very early age (as most people do) but it did not stop me from trying to be the best.
I've come to terms with it, at first painfully, but then peacefully. Allow me to elaborate: what at first was a personal failure has become a realization of personal worth. I don't have to be "the best" - nobody does. I realized this over time as relationships with various people came to an end. Reflecting on the relationships I've had - those of friendship, those of rivalry, those of teamwork, those of love - each one brought something into my life that was distinctly unique to that person. Their essence, or their soul, or whatever you'd like to call it, was an almost tangible presence. It was distinctly identifiable, but not in a way you could immediately describe with words. It didn't matter if these people were the best at anything - they were giving to the world just by being, and their presence was appreciated (or unappreciated, in some cases) based largely on their attitude, character, and intrinsic worth as a human being. What took me a long time to realize was that I was a part of that intrinsic worth. Our souls sung a song with each other. A gathering of friends was a symphony of souls. A night with a lover was a serenade of souls. What is hardest to understand is that part of what makes a person unique is in what they can't do, what they don't do right, and what they do better than you. If everyone was singing the same note, we wouldn't have any symphonies or serenades. We'd have a blazing disaster of a performance, one where everyone is blaring the same sound, not unlike the high, annoying buzz of a broken electrical appliance or the incessant ringing of a fire alarm.
Of course, it is still good to strive to be better. A better athlete, a better comedian, a better writer, a better scholar, a better worker, a nicer person. Striving for greatness is great. Obviously.
But it's ok if you don't end up being great. And being the absolute best? Forget about it.
As I write this post, I call to mind a soul I met at one point in my life who resonated with me very strongly precisely because of their burning desire for perfection. I could tell, almost immediately, that they, too, wanted to be the best. Always, all the time, at everything. They wanted to be admired as a the pinnacle of beauty, the pinnacle of intelligence, the perfect social butterfly, the model who sat on their throne above all others and served as an example of perfection to everyone else. As I came to know them better, I realized more fully that this person's perfectionism stemmed from a deep, deep desire to be loved and admired, and an even deeper fear of rejection. I won't mention their name, or when and where I met them, on the 0.0000001% chance that they may read this and recognize that I am talking about them. But I wish every day that this person will realize and accept their intrinsic worth. Even moreso because they were better than me at everything.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Hello, actually R.I.P.
Say hello to Emoji Man.
👌 👨🏻
✒️🎷👕🐛
🍴 🌂👍
📮
🔦 📎
🍸 🍸
👟 👟
Edit: It appears he does not translate well to Blogger. Rest in peace, Emoji Man, we hardly knew ye.
This is what he looked like during his life:
No, actually, I do have something to say.
I visited my old college to get a transcript today, and I almost teared up. Why have I been thinking about that place so much lately? It felt more like home than any other home I've lived in. I wonder how everyone is doing, because I have reason to believe social media does not accurately represent their life (haha, selective presentation). I have best wishes for all of them. Most of them.
No, all of them. Even you guys that made my life miserable, screw you, and bless you too. I won't selectively present my thoughts about or wishes towards you. I hope you're doing well.
👌 👨🏻
✒️🎷👕🐛
🍴 🌂👍
📮
🔦 📎
🍸 🍸
👟 👟
Edit: It appears he does not translate well to Blogger. Rest in peace, Emoji Man, we hardly knew ye.
This is what he looked like during his life:
No, actually, I do have something to say.
I visited my old college to get a transcript today, and I almost teared up. Why have I been thinking about that place so much lately? It felt more like home than any other home I've lived in. I wonder how everyone is doing, because I have reason to believe social media does not accurately represent their life (haha, selective presentation). I have best wishes for all of them. Most of them.
No, all of them. Even you guys that made my life miserable, screw you, and bless you too. I won't selectively present my thoughts about or wishes towards you. I hope you're doing well.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Persona : Mask :: Self : Beauty
People's personas - their masks, their public identities - are a frightening thing. When you speak to someone, you are not dealing with the true essence of that person, but rather a strange projection of who that person wants you to see combined with a sense of restraint born out of a desire to avoid unpleasant social interaction. Their real self is buried far beneath that, asking all sorts of questions, making all sorts of judgements, contemplating all sorts of desires, saying all sorts of things. And you see and hear absolutely none of that.
It can also be a beautiful thing. As you get closer to someone, they open up. You open up. The mask slowly comes off, the shield is let down, and you get to see each other for who you are. The truest essence of a person usually ends up being known by a very, very select few. Even amongst their greatest friends and closest acquaintances, people have some sort of performance act going on. It's cool, that's fine - it makes friendship, partnership, and all other social relations their own special thing. You can be someone around a certain group of friends because of your mask. It's a social construct, an intrinsic piece of society. It's a good thing. Scary, if you think about it too hard, but good nonetheless.
When you really love someone and take off your mask, and become the real you, and can just talk about whatever, sit together in silence and be content, communicate without words, forgive the weird quirks in each other that society doesn't want to see, and even love these quirks, there's a deep, pure, and amazing beauty to that kind of relationship. It shines so brightly because it's the kind of thing you can't share with just anybody. People think it's reserved for significant others, but platonic friendships can reach this point, too. Middle schoolers refer to these people as their "best friends", a term that becomes less acceptable to use as you grow older. I think adults can share close platonic friendships, too, but it might be rarer in our society than it should be.
I wonder how many people sit down and truly think about this kind of thing. I often get accused of thinking too hard, or thinking too much when I bring this up to other people. Really? Come on. This is hardly scratching the surface. I guess it doesn't make for very entertaining small talk, I'll give people that.
Enough rambling romanticism.
It can also be a beautiful thing. As you get closer to someone, they open up. You open up. The mask slowly comes off, the shield is let down, and you get to see each other for who you are. The truest essence of a person usually ends up being known by a very, very select few. Even amongst their greatest friends and closest acquaintances, people have some sort of performance act going on. It's cool, that's fine - it makes friendship, partnership, and all other social relations their own special thing. You can be someone around a certain group of friends because of your mask. It's a social construct, an intrinsic piece of society. It's a good thing. Scary, if you think about it too hard, but good nonetheless.
When you really love someone and take off your mask, and become the real you, and can just talk about whatever, sit together in silence and be content, communicate without words, forgive the weird quirks in each other that society doesn't want to see, and even love these quirks, there's a deep, pure, and amazing beauty to that kind of relationship. It shines so brightly because it's the kind of thing you can't share with just anybody. People think it's reserved for significant others, but platonic friendships can reach this point, too. Middle schoolers refer to these people as their "best friends", a term that becomes less acceptable to use as you grow older. I think adults can share close platonic friendships, too, but it might be rarer in our society than it should be.
I wonder how many people sit down and truly think about this kind of thing. I often get accused of thinking too hard, or thinking too much when I bring this up to other people. Really? Come on. This is hardly scratching the surface. I guess it doesn't make for very entertaining small talk, I'll give people that.
Enough rambling romanticism.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Our Souls are Forged in Fire
I think it's apparent that life can be pretty brutal and unfair.
Complaining about it gets you nowhere, though. Especially in a world where people often beat you down further for whining, start comparing your situation to people who are worse off and attempt to invalidate your suffering, simply don't care, or are too busy suffering themselves to offer you any solace or assistance.
The key to getting through life's suffering is love, of course, but preaching about love will get you labeled as a wide eyed, naive fool. Even worse, it's likely to be seen as inconsequential rambling at best or worthless drivel at worst - why even bother talking about love? Why bother talking about the value other people hold in your life? Why does that matter? "How sweet," people think, before quietly moving on. "What a fool," people think, before writing you off. "What a loser," people think, laughing at you. "This is dumb," people think, not finding entertainment or gratification in your words. The message is lost. And this doesn't simply apply to preaching about love - it applies to how people seem to view love as a whole. People are preoccupied with the bare necessities in their lives, lost in hedonistic tendencies, lost in their minds, lost in their goals, lost in their desires, lost in their sorrow, lost in themselves.
In an often loveless world, how does one react? What is one supposed to do?
I don't think there's a single answer to that question, but humor is an invaluable weapon in the war against the world. It will protect you, and help others in their own suffering. People may write off preaching more often than not, but humor is much more likely to light people up from the inside out. Take nothing seriously, joke all the time, laugh. Laugh at everything, laugh at yourself. I'll gladly play the fool if it can make other people laugh and smile.
I used to take myself very seriously. I would avoid things I found beneath me, I would judge others, I was a stickler for rules, I was a perfectionist, I took every tiny bit of criticism or slander to heart, and I wanted people to recognize me. I was also miserable. Eventually you just have to ask yourself, "Why let the world keep beating you down?" Loosen up.
A world of suffering opens your heart.
Complaining about it gets you nowhere, though. Especially in a world where people often beat you down further for whining, start comparing your situation to people who are worse off and attempt to invalidate your suffering, simply don't care, or are too busy suffering themselves to offer you any solace or assistance.
The key to getting through life's suffering is love, of course, but preaching about love will get you labeled as a wide eyed, naive fool. Even worse, it's likely to be seen as inconsequential rambling at best or worthless drivel at worst - why even bother talking about love? Why bother talking about the value other people hold in your life? Why does that matter? "How sweet," people think, before quietly moving on. "What a fool," people think, before writing you off. "What a loser," people think, laughing at you. "This is dumb," people think, not finding entertainment or gratification in your words. The message is lost. And this doesn't simply apply to preaching about love - it applies to how people seem to view love as a whole. People are preoccupied with the bare necessities in their lives, lost in hedonistic tendencies, lost in their minds, lost in their goals, lost in their desires, lost in their sorrow, lost in themselves.
In an often loveless world, how does one react? What is one supposed to do?
I don't think there's a single answer to that question, but humor is an invaluable weapon in the war against the world. It will protect you, and help others in their own suffering. People may write off preaching more often than not, but humor is much more likely to light people up from the inside out. Take nothing seriously, joke all the time, laugh. Laugh at everything, laugh at yourself. I'll gladly play the fool if it can make other people laugh and smile.
I used to take myself very seriously. I would avoid things I found beneath me, I would judge others, I was a stickler for rules, I was a perfectionist, I took every tiny bit of criticism or slander to heart, and I wanted people to recognize me. I was also miserable. Eventually you just have to ask yourself, "Why let the world keep beating you down?" Loosen up.
A world of suffering opens your heart.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
A Cake for The Ages; a Cake for All Time
What
is cake for? Is it a treat designed to satiate the senses in a way that
ordinary food cannot? Is it a criminally unhealthy dessert mean to
serve as a mechanism of guilt that will wrack your very being? Is it a
reward for days and days of working hard at the gym - a moment of
reprieve in a desert of carrots and kale? Nay, I say, nay!
It is for having two slices.
Unwarranted justification of consuming sweets will come to an end starting now, though. I have essentially become the "tomorrow guy", the guy who always says he is going to eat healthy and then... doesn't. "I'll do it tomorrow" has just become "I'll do it now." Contrary to what social media has been saying, the "dad bod" isn't getting anyone anywhere.
It was nut cake, by the way. Damn, was it good.
It is for having two slices.
Unwarranted justification of consuming sweets will come to an end starting now, though. I have essentially become the "tomorrow guy", the guy who always says he is going to eat healthy and then... doesn't. "I'll do it tomorrow" has just become "I'll do it now." Contrary to what social media has been saying, the "dad bod" isn't getting anyone anywhere.
It was nut cake, by the way. Damn, was it good.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Hindsight, my nemesis
Sometimes I get back to thinking about who I was in college. College was a very weird experience, for a number of reasons. I actually wrote a really long, detailed, wordy post, but decided that it could be summed up like this:
I made the best decisions of my life.
I made the worst decisions of my life.
(That is some Dickensian nonsense right there)
College is often called your formative years, where you stop becoming an extension of your parents and blossom into a fully autonomous adult. I learned how to live on my own. I experienced independence, I nailed down a work ethic (after failing miserably due to my old lack of a work ethic), I started eating healthy (aside from the occasional trip to Olive Garden to abuse their infinite breadstick policy), and I gained a lot of other life skills that I'll take with me forever. I also met a lot of really cool people that I still consider good friends. Thanks, college.
I also met some terrible people, and was a terrible person myself, at times. I still shudder when I think of some of the things I said out loud, some of the things I thought made me look good in front of others, and even some of the things I said and did in class. I think only one word can describe how I feel about the negative side of college: my bad. Wait, that's two words. Well, it's one phrase. Whatever. Either way, the point is, I still think back on this sometimes and visibly cringe, mentally trying to shove these memories back to the vault of oblivion that I originally put them in. But they keep escaping, especially when Person A I did some stupid shit around is friends with Person B I'm still cool with on Facebook and posts on the same status as me or I run into Person A in public. Awkward. I'm not the same guy, I swear. (Metaphorically)
I'm glad I have a positive and negative side of things to look back on, in order to be a better human being going forward. I know who I want to be and I definitely know who I don't want to be.
This post might seem very personal, but it is, actually, universally applicable to anyone who goes to college or spends their early young adult years in a particular community. You have both the good and the bad to push you forward, and sometimes you can't tell which is which until you're a few years ahead and look back at your experience. Both sides can help you grow in a positive way.
Tomorrow is another day, etc.
I made the best decisions of my life.
I made the worst decisions of my life.
(That is some Dickensian nonsense right there)
College is often called your formative years, where you stop becoming an extension of your parents and blossom into a fully autonomous adult. I learned how to live on my own. I experienced independence, I nailed down a work ethic (after failing miserably due to my old lack of a work ethic), I started eating healthy (aside from the occasional trip to Olive Garden to abuse their infinite breadstick policy), and I gained a lot of other life skills that I'll take with me forever. I also met a lot of really cool people that I still consider good friends. Thanks, college.
I also met some terrible people, and was a terrible person myself, at times. I still shudder when I think of some of the things I said out loud, some of the things I thought made me look good in front of others, and even some of the things I said and did in class. I think only one word can describe how I feel about the negative side of college: my bad. Wait, that's two words. Well, it's one phrase. Whatever. Either way, the point is, I still think back on this sometimes and visibly cringe, mentally trying to shove these memories back to the vault of oblivion that I originally put them in. But they keep escaping, especially when Person A I did some stupid shit around is friends with Person B I'm still cool with on Facebook and posts on the same status as me or I run into Person A in public. Awkward. I'm not the same guy, I swear. (Metaphorically)
I'm glad I have a positive and negative side of things to look back on, in order to be a better human being going forward. I know who I want to be and I definitely know who I don't want to be.
This post might seem very personal, but it is, actually, universally applicable to anyone who goes to college or spends their early young adult years in a particular community. You have both the good and the bad to push you forward, and sometimes you can't tell which is which until you're a few years ahead and look back at your experience. Both sides can help you grow in a positive way.
Tomorrow is another day, etc.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Extremely thought provoking analysis of an important subject
After taking a three hour exam, my head is totally empty. Nothing left to think about.
Have this.
Feel nautious? A bit of vertigo? Nervous? If your answer is no, you have nerves of steel.
The things people do for their fifteen minutes of fame. Or maybe this guy is just crazy, I dunno.
Have this.
Feel nautious? A bit of vertigo? Nervous? If your answer is no, you have nerves of steel.
The things people do for their fifteen minutes of fame. Or maybe this guy is just crazy, I dunno.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
I am ok
Right, blog. Supposed to update every day.
Suffocating. Dying. Exam tomorrow. Practice test. Utter devastation. Cheese and ice cream. Help now. Regret later. Music. Drowning in distraction. Study? Maybe. Did so much. Must do more.
S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S.
Update: Apparently I have an ulcer. HA HA, GREAT TIMING. Thanks, grad school!
Suffocating. Dying. Exam tomorrow. Practice test. Utter devastation. Cheese and ice cream. Help now. Regret later. Music. Drowning in distraction. Study? Maybe. Did so much. Must do more.
S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S.
Update: Apparently I have an ulcer. HA HA, GREAT TIMING. Thanks, grad school!
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Surprise, it's Summer
It's suddenly Summer outside. That happened fast. It might not be Summer on the calendar, yet, but it is outside. At this time last week, the trees were still blooming.
On that note, out of all the feelings in the world, an air conditioned house is one of the best. Most people would say that accomplishing something, meeting an old friend for the first time in a long time, cuddling with someone you love, getting promoted, making love, getting married, getting new stuff, experiencing Christmas as a child, having your first kid, or whatever else is the best feeling in the world. No. People have it all wrong. Nobody ever mentions walking into an air conditioned house on a hot day. That is the best feeling in the world.
It's not quite hot enough for that, yet, but soon it shall be. And I shall have my glorious, synthetic reprieve. Oh yes.
On that note, out of all the feelings in the world, an air conditioned house is one of the best. Most people would say that accomplishing something, meeting an old friend for the first time in a long time, cuddling with someone you love, getting promoted, making love, getting married, getting new stuff, experiencing Christmas as a child, having your first kid, or whatever else is the best feeling in the world. No. People have it all wrong. Nobody ever mentions walking into an air conditioned house on a hot day. That is the best feeling in the world.
It's not quite hot enough for that, yet, but soon it shall be. And I shall have my glorious, synthetic reprieve. Oh yes.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Studying is dumb
I've spent all day either studying, or not-studying, where I feel too guilty to do something that requires actual effort, but doing something that doesn't require much effort (like Youtube) is perfectly ok because I'm "just taking a break". The results of not-studying were productive in their own way, though.
Ha! I should also mention that this is a comprehensive, three hour exam that determines if I get a license to teach or not. But who cares when you can watch a pigeon steal a car? The internet is the best waste of time ever. I mean that cynically and sincerely.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Mother's Day
Mother's Day. Hm.
Being a man, I can't possibly imagine what hardships a mother faces. Having a human being grow inside of you, giving birth, raising a child, having such a strong link to your child... it's all foreign to me, and always will be.
I do know what it's like to have a mother, though, and mothers are pretty great. Always there for you. When the father figure tries to whip you into shape, and make you a better person, your mom is always there to comfort you and make you feel good about yourself.
At least, this is what's supposed to happen. Being human, mothers make mistakes, their personality flaws break through, and they often damage their kids for life in one way or another. Parenting: the impossible job. The job you're destined to fail at, despite being the one job you are absolutely not allowed to fail at. This is all part of the puzzle, though. Growing up, you at first love your parents, and then hate them, and then, as you grow into an adult yourself, forgive them for being human beings that make mistakes.
Then there are rotten people who have children. Legitimately bad people. I hesitate to call them mothers, because outside of the primal need to preserve their child, if they even have that, they don't care about their children at all. Unworthy of the moniker of "mother", for sure. I feel bad for anyone who suffered abuse, lack of care, or any other failure to show love from their biological mother. I know people with rotten "mothers". I do not envy them. Everyone deserves a loving mother. Everyone. On that same note, however, I greatly respect these same people who grew up without this essential human need for a mother figure and still came out alright, although I still would not wish the experience on anyone.
Why on earth would I mention something so downright awful in a post celebrating Mother's Day? Because it isn't fair to those who didn't have a mother there for them to go on about how great all mothers are. It would be like saying, "I know. Nobody was there for you. Whatever, man." Acknowledgement goes a long way when it comes to poverty, and lacking a mother is real poverty of the soul. The real point is that the heart of what a mother is extends far beyond simply who gave birth to you. While it's great if that does work out, a real mother is someone who looks out for you - biologically related or not. I feel as if today celebrates all real mothers. And the fact that some people didn't have that in their life is even greater cause to celebrate the good souls who did fulfill this role.
A mother, at her core, is a caring, nurturing, noble soul, one who has a job so intricate and so life consuming that I can't help but label it as one of the most respectable jobs in the world. And in our society, people often work paying jobs in addition to the gigantic responsibility of motherhood, which is an admirable feat.
Moms everywhere deserve a huge medal. They carry an impossible cross, but one that must be carried, and one that bears fruit like no other. Every human being on earth owes their life to their mother, in one way or another.
Happy Mother's Day.
Being a man, I can't possibly imagine what hardships a mother faces. Having a human being grow inside of you, giving birth, raising a child, having such a strong link to your child... it's all foreign to me, and always will be.
I do know what it's like to have a mother, though, and mothers are pretty great. Always there for you. When the father figure tries to whip you into shape, and make you a better person, your mom is always there to comfort you and make you feel good about yourself.
At least, this is what's supposed to happen. Being human, mothers make mistakes, their personality flaws break through, and they often damage their kids for life in one way or another. Parenting: the impossible job. The job you're destined to fail at, despite being the one job you are absolutely not allowed to fail at. This is all part of the puzzle, though. Growing up, you at first love your parents, and then hate them, and then, as you grow into an adult yourself, forgive them for being human beings that make mistakes.
Then there are rotten people who have children. Legitimately bad people. I hesitate to call them mothers, because outside of the primal need to preserve their child, if they even have that, they don't care about their children at all. Unworthy of the moniker of "mother", for sure. I feel bad for anyone who suffered abuse, lack of care, or any other failure to show love from their biological mother. I know people with rotten "mothers". I do not envy them. Everyone deserves a loving mother. Everyone. On that same note, however, I greatly respect these same people who grew up without this essential human need for a mother figure and still came out alright, although I still would not wish the experience on anyone.
Why on earth would I mention something so downright awful in a post celebrating Mother's Day? Because it isn't fair to those who didn't have a mother there for them to go on about how great all mothers are. It would be like saying, "I know. Nobody was there for you. Whatever, man." Acknowledgement goes a long way when it comes to poverty, and lacking a mother is real poverty of the soul. The real point is that the heart of what a mother is extends far beyond simply who gave birth to you. While it's great if that does work out, a real mother is someone who looks out for you - biologically related or not. I feel as if today celebrates all real mothers. And the fact that some people didn't have that in their life is even greater cause to celebrate the good souls who did fulfill this role.
A mother, at her core, is a caring, nurturing, noble soul, one who has a job so intricate and so life consuming that I can't help but label it as one of the most respectable jobs in the world. And in our society, people often work paying jobs in addition to the gigantic responsibility of motherhood, which is an admirable feat.
Moms everywhere deserve a huge medal. They carry an impossible cross, but one that must be carried, and one that bears fruit like no other. Every human being on earth owes their life to their mother, in one way or another.
Happy Mother's Day.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Work, Money, Desire
I always think it's so much more amazing when people do things for free.
"Well, obviously", is the expected response to that. Who doesn't love free things? Think about it for a second, though.
All throughout history, society has been run by the dollar sign. Do this for us, we give you money. You have money, you can live a good life. Fair enough. People don't wake up and go sit behind a gas station counter for minimum wage because they like it. People do not become plumbers because they enjoy what that job entails. People do not spend thousands on law school to become an attorney without expecting some kind of monetary return in the long run. I recall a psychologist once telling me that he hated roofing. It was the worst job that he had ever had. It was so bad, he went to med school to avoid it for the rest of his life. I asked him if he liked his job now, complaining that I hated my at the time gas station job. "This is my gas station", he told me, gesturing to his office. Wow. That hit me, as a very young adult with a naive view of the world, that this professional doctor was only here to avoid worse consequences. I then came to realize: so has it been for all of history.
Underneath every desire to work, though, or at least in most cases, there's always a sense of genuine interest or pure reasoning for doing that particular job that goes beyond "making money" or "being comfortable". The genuineness can be a base or higher motivation, but waking up and going to work is very rarely done so with the singular goal of racking up more dough.
"I need to provide for my children. Time to go serve fries at McDonald's."
"I find the human mind interesting. Let me study psychology."
"I don't want criminals to go free. I want society to be safe. Let me become a cop."
Dr. So-and-so didn't go to med school because he pulled that decision out of a hat. At least, I hope not. Working isn't just a means to end - I feel like there's something intrinsic in us that wants to work, to produce something, something only we can do, something that uses our personal talents to contribute to the world and to others. Everyone has that motivation.
What really gets me - in a good way - is when people use that motivation outside of necessity. I grew up as a recluse, so I was heavily involved in internet communities as a teenager. It was there that I realized that people were willing to do things for free if they loved it enough. People draw pieces of art in tribute to other works that they enjoy, people make websites dedicated to their favorite thing, people write fan fiction (although my opinion on this is another story altogether, it's the effort that impresses me) simply because they love the characters, people start blogs because they like movies, and they want to talk about movies, and share that love with others. People produce things out of a genuine sense of love for a particular thing. Now that the internet is more prolific, many people are exposed to fan works like this on a daily basis. Of course, people have been doing things like this for a long time, but the internet has been my generation's primary experience with this kind of thing, and I don't think doing stuff just to do stuff was as popular a venture when you couldn't put it online for God and everybody to see and value. I feel, however, like people take for granted the charity that they're being given by hard working souls who pour their being into their work for no other sake than for the sake of loving what it is that they do, or loving what someone else has done and attempting to bring that love to others.
Anyone who does something for free is a saint, in their own way. All the power to them.
Anyone who does things for not-free is still cool, though. Keep society going, and all that.
"Well, obviously", is the expected response to that. Who doesn't love free things? Think about it for a second, though.
All throughout history, society has been run by the dollar sign. Do this for us, we give you money. You have money, you can live a good life. Fair enough. People don't wake up and go sit behind a gas station counter for minimum wage because they like it. People do not become plumbers because they enjoy what that job entails. People do not spend thousands on law school to become an attorney without expecting some kind of monetary return in the long run. I recall a psychologist once telling me that he hated roofing. It was the worst job that he had ever had. It was so bad, he went to med school to avoid it for the rest of his life. I asked him if he liked his job now, complaining that I hated my at the time gas station job. "This is my gas station", he told me, gesturing to his office. Wow. That hit me, as a very young adult with a naive view of the world, that this professional doctor was only here to avoid worse consequences. I then came to realize: so has it been for all of history.
Underneath every desire to work, though, or at least in most cases, there's always a sense of genuine interest or pure reasoning for doing that particular job that goes beyond "making money" or "being comfortable". The genuineness can be a base or higher motivation, but waking up and going to work is very rarely done so with the singular goal of racking up more dough.
"I need to provide for my children. Time to go serve fries at McDonald's."
"I find the human mind interesting. Let me study psychology."
"I don't want criminals to go free. I want society to be safe. Let me become a cop."
Dr. So-and-so didn't go to med school because he pulled that decision out of a hat. At least, I hope not. Working isn't just a means to end - I feel like there's something intrinsic in us that wants to work, to produce something, something only we can do, something that uses our personal talents to contribute to the world and to others. Everyone has that motivation.
What really gets me - in a good way - is when people use that motivation outside of necessity. I grew up as a recluse, so I was heavily involved in internet communities as a teenager. It was there that I realized that people were willing to do things for free if they loved it enough. People draw pieces of art in tribute to other works that they enjoy, people make websites dedicated to their favorite thing, people write fan fiction (although my opinion on this is another story altogether, it's the effort that impresses me) simply because they love the characters, people start blogs because they like movies, and they want to talk about movies, and share that love with others. People produce things out of a genuine sense of love for a particular thing. Now that the internet is more prolific, many people are exposed to fan works like this on a daily basis. Of course, people have been doing things like this for a long time, but the internet has been my generation's primary experience with this kind of thing, and I don't think doing stuff just to do stuff was as popular a venture when you couldn't put it online for God and everybody to see and value. I feel, however, like people take for granted the charity that they're being given by hard working souls who pour their being into their work for no other sake than for the sake of loving what it is that they do, or loving what someone else has done and attempting to bring that love to others.
Anyone who does something for free is a saint, in their own way. All the power to them.
Anyone who does things for not-free is still cool, though. Keep society going, and all that.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Education (and also golf)
Personal rant incoming. I promised myself I'd update this thing every day, and this is what's on my mind right now.
Today, I submitted my last school assignment outside of my thesis.
I've been in school my whole life. This feels so weird, man. I guess I can't run from the real world anymore.
Grad school has been great. A normal ride, for once. I do alright in school, people treat me well (outside of the staff never answering e-mails, ever, even when I absolutely need them to, oh God please answer your e-mail, my future depends on it, it's an hour before a massively important due date why is your silence still vexing me), my teachers respect me, I get my work done in a timely fashion, I'm actually enjoying what I do, I'm academically challenged, and I love it. But it's over, now.
I have my comprehensive exam in a week, but right now, I'm slacking off, because I haven't been able to slack off in forever, despite doing it all the time when I was younger. Where will I go from here, I wonder? A week from now, when and if I pass that exam, where will life decide to take me?
Tomorrow, I'll post something substantial rather than ramble.
Edit: Nevermind, I lied. I discovered something very substantial. There is such a thing as glow golf.
Where was this when I was playing laser tag and going to stupid, regular mini golf? Why wasn't this more popular? I can only imagine the trance and/or dubstep playing in the background as the neon golf balls land in their radiant holes, making that arcadey "ding, you win" sound of jubilant triumph as your score is electronically racked up on a digital scoreboard.
Today, I submitted my last school assignment outside of my thesis.
I've been in school my whole life. This feels so weird, man. I guess I can't run from the real world anymore.
Grad school has been great. A normal ride, for once. I do alright in school, people treat me well (outside of the staff never answering e-mails, ever, even when I absolutely need them to, oh God please answer your e-mail, my future depends on it, it's an hour before a massively important due date why is your silence still vexing me), my teachers respect me, I get my work done in a timely fashion, I'm actually enjoying what I do, I'm academically challenged, and I love it. But it's over, now.
I have my comprehensive exam in a week, but right now, I'm slacking off, because I haven't been able to slack off in forever, despite doing it all the time when I was younger. Where will I go from here, I wonder? A week from now, when and if I pass that exam, where will life decide to take me?
Tomorrow, I'll post something substantial rather than ramble.
Edit: Nevermind, I lied. I discovered something very substantial. There is such a thing as glow golf.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Ducks
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Revenge of the 6th
I have a friend who owns lightsabers. He is consistently adding more to his collection, and frequently updates his Facebook profile picture to an image of himself posing with his newest saber. He's actually gotten pretty good at taking a decent shot. A couple of days ago - May 4th, Star Wars day, to be exact - I noticed the following pop up on my Facebook feed.
Bored, and more than willing to procrastinate on meaningful, productive work, I jumped at this opportunity. Vulcan is his new cat, but I didn't think that Vulcan had any potential, so I left finding the cat to Google image search - I searched "Star Wars cat", "Cat lightsaber", "Cat Darth Vader", etc. Eventually, I stumbled upon this image, which I felt had massive potential.
Yes. Perfect.
Possessing no skills of my own, and having already exhausted my free trial of Photoshop, I took this task to the gestalt consciousness of the internet. Specifically, I went on NeoGAF. Now, the internet will usually do this kind of thing for free, but you never know what you're going to get. In ordinary circumstances, this would be a liability, but in this case, the internet's wildcard status was the perfect environment. I posted a request asking for lightsaber cat to be added to the picture of Bryan wielding his sabers. Checking back an hour or so later, I discovered a goldmine.
"The Twist", user 8 X 11 Printer Paper wrote as he posted the following.
"You're welcome", user Firehead proclaimed.
JJDinomite turned both pictures into an internet meme, which was pretty impressive.
8 X 11 Printer Paper returned for a second contribution. "Now you can get a robot hand like Luke Skywalker", he snidely remarked.
The request turned out better than I could have hoped for. I did end up showing these to my friend, but I think I (and the users of NeoGAF) found it much more amusing than he did. I'd say it was a worthy use of time, and one of the more fruitful procrastination ventures that I've had. The rest of the thread is here.
Bored, and more than willing to procrastinate on meaningful, productive work, I jumped at this opportunity. Vulcan is his new cat, but I didn't think that Vulcan had any potential, so I left finding the cat to Google image search - I searched "Star Wars cat", "Cat lightsaber", "Cat Darth Vader", etc. Eventually, I stumbled upon this image, which I felt had massive potential.
Possessing no skills of my own, and having already exhausted my free trial of Photoshop, I took this task to the gestalt consciousness of the internet. Specifically, I went on NeoGAF. Now, the internet will usually do this kind of thing for free, but you never know what you're going to get. In ordinary circumstances, this would be a liability, but in this case, the internet's wildcard status was the perfect environment. I posted a request asking for lightsaber cat to be added to the picture of Bryan wielding his sabers. Checking back an hour or so later, I discovered a goldmine.
8 X 11 Printer Paper returned for a second contribution. "Now you can get a robot hand like Luke Skywalker", he snidely remarked.
The request turned out better than I could have hoped for. I did end up showing these to my friend, but I think I (and the users of NeoGAF) found it much more amusing than he did. I'd say it was a worthy use of time, and one of the more fruitful procrastination ventures that I've had. The rest of the thread is here.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Unique Identity in Fiction
I
think part of the reason people love Harry Potter and Game of Thrones
so much are the houses/families. There's something distinctly gripping
and human about sorting people into categories based on what traits and
abilities they gravitate towards. Everyone wants to stand out, be appreciated, and feel unique, so it's only natural that instances in fiction where people are given a very distinct chance to do so are so widely beloved. Just scratching the surface, you have the fact that Gryffindors are brave, Slytherins are cunning, Ravenclaws are smart, Hufflepuffs are sweet and genuine, and if you are one of these things you get sorted into that house. Game of Thrones families are a bit less family friendly in their categorization, but it's the same basic idea. Starks are badass, Lannisters are jerks, Targaryens are cool, alluring, and mysterious.
This is oversimplifying the houses and families by a lot, though, and perhaps the best instances regarding them in each respective piece of fiction are when people take issue with where they've been sorted. Lannisters are proud and vain, yet we have Tyrion, an ugly dwarf outcast who feels rightfully out of place within his clan-like family. Peter Dinklage's portrayal of the character might not seem like he's all that ugly, but take a look at the original, non adapted-for-TV Tyrion.
He's called "the imp" for a reason, and that reason extends far beyond being short. His experience as an outcast shapes his personality to be markedly different from his relatives, where he adopts a dry wit and cynicism, but also comes to care for the downtrodden and misunderstood. "Caring for others" is distinctly unique in the Lannister vocabulary, and his character is a good example of adding three dimensions to the families in the series. Jon Snow, the bastard child of Eddard Stark, is another similar yet inverted example of one who is entirely worthy of inheriting the Stark name and exhibits all of their mannerisms, yet is barred from being declared as one due to the circumstances surrounding his birth. In Harry Potter, I can't help but love the scenes in the first book where Harry is terrified of landing in Slytherin, and then later when the hat has trouble sorting him, clarifying his fears that he does indeed possess many traits typical of a Slytherin member. The Sorting Hat's struggle tells the reader that yes, Harry is brave and part of the "good guys" of Gryffindor, but he is not clearly cut from that cloth, and had just as much potential to be sorted into any of the other houses. This also sets up the plot behind the similarities between himself and Voldemort, despite them personifying hero and villain respectively, and Hagrid's later speech towards Harry about good and evil residing in everyone. The point I'm trying to make is this: these pieces of fiction sort people into clearly defined categories, but it's not a two dimensional process; there is a clear depth to it that readers can relate to in, again, a very human way. We want to be recognized for who we are, but we are also afraid of being labeled. This three dimensional take on the idea helps satisfy both opposing desires of the reader at the same time. "You can be recognized without being labeled". This is a powerful, idyllic, and gripping message.
See also a "lesser" but still applicable example: anime series where characters have specific powers tailored to their personalities, and promote growth of these abilities. Example: Naruto assigns each character a primary element loosely based off classic interpretations of elements - Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, etc. Some characters are born with special elements that only their family can use, often very unique in their nature - Ice is one, Wood is another, Dust is another. Elements have an inherent advantage and disadvantage towards others, making one character's abilities useful in a situation where another's may not help at all. The elements serve as a backdrop for the series in a number of ways - each person lives in a village that represents a particular element, some people who are capable of using unique elements are persecuted, etc.
The reason why young people are so drawn to shows like Naruto is that they are not only power fantasies, but promote individual strengths and go to extreme efforts to personalize them. Again, there's something very appealing about making people stand out as unique through what they're capable of doing. It's such a far cry from the real world, where very, very few people get recognized as unique and most are encouraged to join the faceless conglomerate of the working world. So these instances of personalized fiction are not only appealing, but also liberating.
Part of the reason I make this commentary is that, recently, I've spent quite a bit of time in academia, specifically in a graduate school English program, where Harry Potter, Game of Thrones and the like tend to get frequently lambasted. But, I refuse to renounce my appreciation for them. I don't watch anime anymore, really, and actually have a genuine disinterest in the culture surrounding it these days, but the point still stands; these books aren't "sophisticated" fiction, and get shit for it, and get pegged as lesser material, when in fact there is a very human undercurrent to why they are so beloved. And I'll keep loving them, dammit.
By the way: Slytherin (they're not all evil!) and Targaryen for life.
This is oversimplifying the houses and families by a lot, though, and perhaps the best instances regarding them in each respective piece of fiction are when people take issue with where they've been sorted. Lannisters are proud and vain, yet we have Tyrion, an ugly dwarf outcast who feels rightfully out of place within his clan-like family. Peter Dinklage's portrayal of the character might not seem like he's all that ugly, but take a look at the original, non adapted-for-TV Tyrion.
He's called "the imp" for a reason, and that reason extends far beyond being short. His experience as an outcast shapes his personality to be markedly different from his relatives, where he adopts a dry wit and cynicism, but also comes to care for the downtrodden and misunderstood. "Caring for others" is distinctly unique in the Lannister vocabulary, and his character is a good example of adding three dimensions to the families in the series. Jon Snow, the bastard child of Eddard Stark, is another similar yet inverted example of one who is entirely worthy of inheriting the Stark name and exhibits all of their mannerisms, yet is barred from being declared as one due to the circumstances surrounding his birth. In Harry Potter, I can't help but love the scenes in the first book where Harry is terrified of landing in Slytherin, and then later when the hat has trouble sorting him, clarifying his fears that he does indeed possess many traits typical of a Slytherin member. The Sorting Hat's struggle tells the reader that yes, Harry is brave and part of the "good guys" of Gryffindor, but he is not clearly cut from that cloth, and had just as much potential to be sorted into any of the other houses. This also sets up the plot behind the similarities between himself and Voldemort, despite them personifying hero and villain respectively, and Hagrid's later speech towards Harry about good and evil residing in everyone. The point I'm trying to make is this: these pieces of fiction sort people into clearly defined categories, but it's not a two dimensional process; there is a clear depth to it that readers can relate to in, again, a very human way. We want to be recognized for who we are, but we are also afraid of being labeled. This three dimensional take on the idea helps satisfy both opposing desires of the reader at the same time. "You can be recognized without being labeled". This is a powerful, idyllic, and gripping message.
See also a "lesser" but still applicable example: anime series where characters have specific powers tailored to their personalities, and promote growth of these abilities. Example: Naruto assigns each character a primary element loosely based off classic interpretations of elements - Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, etc. Some characters are born with special elements that only their family can use, often very unique in their nature - Ice is one, Wood is another, Dust is another. Elements have an inherent advantage and disadvantage towards others, making one character's abilities useful in a situation where another's may not help at all. The elements serve as a backdrop for the series in a number of ways - each person lives in a village that represents a particular element, some people who are capable of using unique elements are persecuted, etc.
The reason why young people are so drawn to shows like Naruto is that they are not only power fantasies, but promote individual strengths and go to extreme efforts to personalize them. Again, there's something very appealing about making people stand out as unique through what they're capable of doing. It's such a far cry from the real world, where very, very few people get recognized as unique and most are encouraged to join the faceless conglomerate of the working world. So these instances of personalized fiction are not only appealing, but also liberating.
Part of the reason I make this commentary is that, recently, I've spent quite a bit of time in academia, specifically in a graduate school English program, where Harry Potter, Game of Thrones and the like tend to get frequently lambasted. But, I refuse to renounce my appreciation for them. I don't watch anime anymore, really, and actually have a genuine disinterest in the culture surrounding it these days, but the point still stands; these books aren't "sophisticated" fiction, and get shit for it, and get pegged as lesser material, when in fact there is a very human undercurrent to why they are so beloved. And I'll keep loving them, dammit.
By the way: Slytherin (they're not all evil!) and Targaryen for life.
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