Onward, Through the Abyss

Why bother?

I find myself asking this question all the time. Why bother trying to be nice when it goes unappreciated? Why go out of your way to contribute something meaningful when the effort goes unnoticed? Why spend your time writing when nobody looks at what you write? Why try to be funny if nobody laughs at your jokes? Why bother even getting out of bed in the morning if you know you're just going to face problems, responsibilities, and people you'd rather never encounter again in your life?

It's tough to find motivation to go forward in life. It's even harder to find motivation to make the most of your life. Sometimes it's even hard to survive in life. When you look at the now, the immediate risk and reward, the better answer is often, "why bother?"

Sit back. Think. Imagine you're on your deathbed.

Whoa, that got morbid. Stay with me, though, I promise that this is going somewhere positive.

Imagine that you're on your deathbed. Your life is flashing before your eyes. You see all the things you did, all the things you didn't do, all the things you did well, all the things you could have done better, all the things that brought you joy, all the things that brought you sorrow, all the things that brought others joy, and all the things that brought others sorrow.

How much regret do you feel?

When you realize that there is no "now" - that we live trapped in a temporal existence, and that our life will end one day - you can see the need to go forward in life. Every human being wants to leave behind a legacy, a magnum opus, a trace of their existence, a message to the world that they were here, that they did something, and that it made a difference. You can't see that, or understand that, if you only look through the window of the present.

Something people seem to realize even less is that the little things leave traces of our existence, too. The Butterfly Effect. You make a difference just by talking to a friend, and laughing with them. You make a difference by being nice to a stranger, even if it's something as small as holding a door open for them. Will you meet the asshole who doesn't appreciate you holding open that door? Yeah, several times. But for every asshole, there's someone who really does appreciate your act of kindness. One time I baked muffins for my class on the last day, when we took our final. Someone laughed and said under their breath that it was weird and that I was weird for doing so. Guess what, lady? My professor said they were pretty good!

And what of the transient things? The games we play, the music we listen to, the food we eat?  Although it's a huge piece of the puzzle, not everything is about leaving behind a legacy. Sometimes the smaller, seemingly inconsequential things that we enjoy - the moments that come and go in the blink of an eye - are also worth living for. They come interspersed with the bad moments, but they're definitely there. Sometimes the small and simple things can make your day. In the grand scheme of things, they may not last, but they're experiences definitely worth having. Not the reason for living, but worth appreciating, at least.

The tears we shed, the pain we endure, and the struggles we encounter day by day are hard to take, sometimes. Why bother facing them?

Because it's worth it.

You'll realize it at the end.