You Gotta Believe

Motivational stuff is great. Life is worth living, risks are worth taking, love is important, yeah, alright. That all sounds great on paper, and it's sweet and all, but you can't say these things without taking into account one very basic life hurdle.

Failure hurts.

There's nothing else quite like the sting of failure. Not meeting the expectations of those around you. Trying to develop a talent and receiving nothing but criticism. Talking to others and hitting all sorts of awkward notes, leading to unpleasant social experiences. Being rejected from a job. Being rejected by someone you like. Not doing well in school. Getting fired. Your friends cutting ties with you. People saying bad things about you. Your friends living seemingly successful, fruitful lives while yours is dull and boring by comparison. It doesn't matter what kind of failure it is. There's different levels of it, but it always, always hurts. Strong people persevere and move on. People who aren't as strong falter. Those of weak emotional constitution crumble. The amount of failure people can take varies, and the way people react to it also depends on the person.

I've talked about intrinsic worth already, but that alone isn't enough to remedy the wounds that failure leave on a person. When you feel the pangs of failure, you aren't thinking of your worth to others, the greater meaning of life, or what life will be like when and if you recover. You're thinking that life sucks right now. That's all that's on your mind. At the moment of failure, that's all that there is. So how does one soldier through the pain? What does a person make of that terrible, awful stinging feeling?

My answer is twofold; faith and hope. Faith that you're better than your failures, and hope that things will improve. It's very easy to allow failure to shatter your perception of self. It's very easy to let it get you down. It can destroy you. But even the weakest person can cling to hope, and even the weakest person can have faith.

Believe that you're worth something. Think of all the people you mean something to. Let's get extreme for a second: if you died, who would it affect? If people knew the extent of your unhappiness, how would it make them feel? If people knew that you were ready to give up, what would they think of you? Do you want them to hurt, too, because of you? Face your pain, and think about how you help others face their own. Endure it to see the good things in life again. Even if it looks like they may never come, or if things may never be the same, I can guarantee good things will come your way again.

Pain never lasts forever. It's something you need to constantly remind yourself of.